Chryed Forever Mine
by ChryedLover
Summary: This is my first attempt at a full smutty FF so please feedback! R&R x
1. Chapter 1

**Thank you to Sazwilkie! I appreciate you reading this over first! **

**A/N: This is my first 'smutty' fanfic! So please comment and let me know your thoughts! R&R and thanks for reading! **

His sea-green eyes darkened with lust as he murmured my name. _"Syed"._

I kissed his soft lips passionately, coaxing his mouth open. I could see in his eyes that he had no fight left in him. Our tongues danced together in perfect sync. God, I wanted him so much. I felt his hands on my back, casually running his hands along, feeling every muscle. I flinched as his cold hands slipped beneath my shirt, but I didn't break the kiss, just squirmed. He held me close and despite our lips being conjoined I could feel his smile. His hands were causing my skin to tingle with excitement. He followed my spine right to the top. I squirmed again trying to come out of his grasp he was just millimetres away from my weak spot. He touched the skin just above it, making circular motions with his fingers. I closed my eyes, conscious of the movement in my groin area. My lover was almost upon it. As he hit my weak spot, I broke the kiss and let out a soft groan. His chuckle was throaty and his breath washed over my face.

"_Not another one"?_ I nodded unable to speak as he began repeating the sequence.

"_Only one more to go"_ I watched as he sexily raised an eyebrow, in the way that only Christian Clarke could pull off.

"_Sound's like a challenge"_

"_Oh, it is"._ I was attempting to sound sexy, but I think I failed miserably. I was barely able to form coherent responses around him.

"_Come to bed"?_ I asked quietly. I wanted to feel him inside me, on me, next to me. It was something that I constantly craved yet never was never satisfied.

His fingers swept up to my face, tingling the skin it left behind.

"_You're so beautiful, do you know that"?_

I could feel a blush creeping up my neck as my heart jumped around. Every part of his face showed me that he truly meant it. These 'off hand' comments that he made were the ones that I remembered most, especially at night when I had to return to the other side of my 'double life'. It was what my mind played over hundreds of times. It was what caused hundreds of questions in my head yet the biggest one was always the same. Why did I keep returning?

My mind was temporarily distracted as my eyes focused on a naked Christian. My mouth dropped open. He winked at me, as he strolled over to the bed, stretched and laid down watching me. I stared at him stupidly. Almost as if he read my mind, he answered the unasked question.

"_You were quite clearly busy thinking about something, so I thought I'd get a head start in undressing"._

I felt my facial expressions change into a broad grin as my eyes scanned his body. I greedily drunk the details of his body in as I removed my own clothes. His bulging biceps were resting beneath handsome face. His 6 pack was taut as his muscles strained against his skin. My eyes went down further. His pelvic was a perfect v shaped as it led into his cock. My eyes widened slightly as I saw it stirring.

"_Are you going to stand over there enjoying the view or actually get some work done"? _

His cheeky voice was like music to my ears.

"_Well this view is spectacular, so if you don't mind I'm going to enjoy it". _

He smiled, quickly scanning his eyes up and down me.

"_Have you been working out, Sy"?_

I smiled as I walked over to him, my eyes fixed on him.

"_Yeah … with you"._

He grinned.

"_Thought so". _

"_It's all those push up's you have me doing, the squats …"._

"_And don't forget the bench presses". _

I laughed out loud. I'd made it to the bed and unashamedly stared at him. Just the thought of our bodies moving together, clutching at each other, his tender strokes was enough to turn me on.

"_Thinking dirty thoughts are we"?_

I jumped out of my stupor.

" _Yes"._ The words were out before I could stop them. My honesty shocked me. Suddenly, I didn't care if he knew that I thought about him all the time.

I climbed onto the bed now fully naked. _"I think about you all the time, I can't stop"._ I gently rested my body onto his. Kissing his face, I spoke between each one_. "My first thought in the morning and the last one at night all consist of you"._ I ran my hands down the side of his face. Christian tilted his head straight back, eyes closed, allowing the words to wash over him. I kissed the base of his neck. His body jerked.

"_Ah, I've found one". _

"_You found it on the first night but never realised"._ His words vibrated against me. I flitted my tongue in and out, around the hollow base. Christian's hands ran into my hair. My body was tingling as Christian hands explored my back. I continued kissing his neck, breathing in his scent. Everytime I released my tongue, I could feel him stirring underneath me.

"_Look at me Sy"._

Syed pulled his head back slowly, allowing our eyes to meet. I stared deep into the pools of chocolate that were ahead of me. Sighing, I pushed his hair back with one hand before tracing his soft lips. How could I put it into words? How could I seriously explain to him that this was going beyond an affair and had been for some time. I chose not to answer, the urge of allowing our bodies to connect was in the forefront of my mind.

I ran my hands down his body swiftly, before arriving at my destination point. He understood what I wanted and rolled over onto his back.

Christian stood tall over, every part of his stance oozed sexiness. I closed my eyes and he began working on me. My limp cock hardening with his touch. His hands were soft, and he was caressing me. I groaned for him. The nerve endings stood on the edge, electrified.

"_Christian"._ His voice was thick as I worked my hand up and down in long slow movements. Dragging out his orgasm was pleasurable within itself.

"_What's wrong Sy"?_ I ran my other hand up and down his chest knowing full well he was reaching his peak.

"_Do you like it? Me running my hands up and down cock? Do you like it when I lick your cum?"_

"_You know I do. Lick me please"._

I grinned at him and kissed his mouth lightly. His face showed me that was all he wanted. Every crevice on his face was focused on me and that in itself was the biggest turn on in itself.

"_Seeing as you asked so nicely" _

I looked up into the emerald gems that were hovering above my eyes. His voice was husky and low. I reached up and unexpectedly kissed his soft mouth, pulling him into me. All of thoughts of him licking me were gone. I wanted to taste _him. _

Our tongues danced together as I tried to make sense of his kiss. His eyes never left mine, and the touch of his hands running up and down my back was .. heavenly. Syed slipped his hand out from underneath our bodies, ever so casually brushing past my hardened nipple as he did so. I could hear him banging him his hand on the table for the condoms. I tried to break the kiss, to check myself but he pulled me instantly back onto him. He teasingly nibbled my lip. My body chose to respond and I could myself stirring against his inner thigh.

"_Christian" _I panted from the kiss, pulling away. "_There's no more condoms_"

My eyebrow flew up in surprise.

"_What already? I bought the lar-"_

He cut me off tipping the packet upside down in front of me. I groaned and rolled next to him. I really didn't want to go out to the Minute Mart, especially as it was snowing outside. An idea came to my head … it lingered and I watched him from the corner of my eye. I felt deeply about him. We didn't have to use condoms. I was clean, Syed was too so what was stopping us? I turned on the bed, facing him side on, running my hands up and down his chest, I spoke.

"_Sy"…. _

"_Hmm"?_ He was deep in thought about something.

"_What do you think about us not using a condom"? _

I studied him expression intently, as the question hung in the air between us. We'd been 'together' for nearly 6 months now. His eyebrows furrowed together as he thought about it. I could tell that he was fixing his expression not to give anything away.

I turned to look at the gorgeous man who was laying next to me, who was asking for this huge thing from me.

"_I don't – know". _The hesitancy in my voice told him all that he needed to know. I knew that he read the fear in my voice. A pang of sadness flashed across his face momentarily before he jumped up from the bed and started reaching for his boxers.

"_We'll do it without a condom". _

"_It's fine Sy. I'll be back before you know it". _His face was completely neutral but his eyes told me how much he wanted us not to use protection. I was ready for this. My protests fell on deaf ears as he scrounged the room for his clothes.

"_What's your shoe size, Christian"?_

I stopped in my tracks, my hand not quite touching my boxers. Slowly I spun on the spot.

"_You what"?_

"_It's a simple question Christian. What. Is. Your. Shoe. Size"._ He dragged the last few words out elaborately. God, never had the words 'what is your shoe size' ever sounded so damn _hot. _I watched him as he lounged on the bed, now far more comfortable than when I'd asked him.

"_Just answer it please"_

"_Um, Size 10. Why"? _

"_Ah, makes sense"._ His eyes travelled down to my groin area before travelling back up to my eyes. It was the intensity of his gaze that sent the shivers through me.

I watched him shake his head slightly. His face looked confused for a moment.

"_What's wrong Christian_"? I swung my legs off the bed before casually strolling over him. Secretly, I revelled in his scrumptious gaze over my body. "_Something wrong_"?

"_Yeah there is actually" _I said, allowing him to slip his arms around my waist. "_One minute we're talking about condoms and the next minute we're talking about shoe sizes?" _I couldn't keep the surprise out of my voice.

"_They're linked" _ I allowed Syed's sensual voice to flow over me.

"_How"? _

"_Are you buying small, medium, large or extra large condoms"? _

"_You can't answer a question with a question"._ I stopped short. Throwing my head back I laughed.

"_It took you long enough to catch on, I thought I was going to have to spell it out for you". _

I gazed adoringly at my lover as he continued to laugh deeply. I was tilted back in his arms, and our pelvis's were touching. I could feel the laugh vibrate along from his gut. He hugged me tightly.

"_Who told you that guys with large feet have large penis's eh"? _

"_Just some guy from school. I thought he was joking but I guess looking at the size of you, there must be some truth in what he said right"?_

I just laughed, breathing Syed in, instead. God, he was intoxicating in every sense of the word! I felt two cool hands cupped around my face. Sy looked deep into my eyes before kissing me deeply. His hands travelled down my torso and he slowly started massaging me. I jerked awake in his hand. I pulled back.

"_Condoms"._

"_No"._

"_Are you sure"_

I scanned his face for the slightest look that could tell me that he didn't want this as much as I did, but I couldn't find one. Confident that this was what we both wanted, I tilted Syed back with my hand firmly on his lower back and carried him over to the bed. We tumbled over as both our hands wandered over each other's skin. I could feel my fingers tingling. He opened his legs. I chuckled.

"_Patience, Sy". _

He groaned. Instead, I start kissing his neck slowly. Working my way down, I kissed, nibbled and licked Syed. I reached his navel and licked around it. I could feel him tensing up as my tongue flitted around. With my left hand, I started playing with his cock. Within moments, it was no longer limp as my hand began to work on him. I started at the balls and worked my way upwards. I allowed my tongue to dart here and there revelling in the taste of him. I knew his unique taste now and could probably taste him in my dreams. His cock was hardening. More cum leaked down his cock and I licked it long, hard and deliberate.

"_Please. Just. Do it". _

I smiled.

"_Wow, we really are impatient aren't we"? _

"Please" He opened his legs and I met his brown eyes. My own resolve was weakening. My heart thudded but from the excitement. My breathing increased just slightly as I began teasing him. I inserted just the head in before withdrawing again. I inserted myself again, before withdrawing, each time going further in. I was hard. For the final time, I fully pushed myself in and Syed bit his lip. Reaching over I stroked his face.

"_Are you ready Sy"?_

His eyes were fiery and his smile was sincere.

"_I've never been more ready for anything in my life". _


	2. Chapter 2 The summit

Slightly long** A/N: Quick Disclaimer to say that I don't own any of the characters and do not make any kind of profit. This is simply my way of releasing my imagination.**

**Also, Sazwilkie – Once again THANK YOU for reading it over and the suggestions! Also sorry for making you wait so long (and everyone who requested it):o I apologise!**

**Anyway, this is a direct continuation from the previous chapter and be warned, it's explicit ;) **

**Thank you to everyone who read it and to the reviews. Something that was flagged up was that I switched between the POVs too quickly; however, I've decided to do this purely from Syed's POV because it's a lot more effective!**

**Please R&R! I read them all and take onboard what is said! Thanks in advance … All that's left too say is.. Enjoy ;) xx**

"_I've never been more ready for anything in my life"….._

He drove himself into, carefully analysing my face for any sign of pain. Every inch of me internally was filled with him… just him.

"_Uh"_ Involuntarily, I gasped as I felt his cock sliding against my walls. Each stride increased the tingling sensation that was already building up somewhere deep inside me. Somewhere only Christian had the map too…

"_Do you want me to go faster"?_

I stared into his emerald green gems, they were dancing in the light. His smile touched my heart, while his soft hand caressed my face, I closed my eyes blissfully, only able to nod. I rested my face against his warm hand, revelling in his touch.

"_Are you in pain"? _

"_That's the last thing I'm in now"._

How could I make him understand this was all that I've ever wanted? I mean, how could I be in pain when I was truly experiencing how the man I loved feel? There was no rubber, no flimsy protection. Just me and him baring our souls to our other half. I grinned sheepishly as I realised that this was now how I thought of Christian Clarke. As my other half, the missing piece to me, I'm salt and he's pep-

"_OUCH"_! A sharp pain bought me out of my thoughts instantly causing Christian to halt.

"_Sy, are you ok"? _

"_I'm fine just don't stop please"_

"_Are you sure"?_

I growled, pulling his face level with mine. I chose not to kiss his lips, however nibbling his ear. I bit playfully and he moaned so quietly I thought I'd imagined it.

"_I'm sure"_

I turned his face back to me, sensually kissing lips, teasing them open. I ran my fingers along the ridges of his spinal cord, stroking his skin as it brushed underneath my hands.

"_I want you to do something"_

"_Hmm"_ I pulled back looking at his face. Christian was still inside me.

"_I want you to go fast and don't stop even if I'm begging you too"_

I wanted the next moments of my life to be just about us both. I wanted to see if he could take me to the brink of insanity and bring me back. I wanted him. I looked at him expectantly for an answer, seeing the shadows of doubt invading his handsome face. I held his eye contact, smiling. I was ready for this.

Within a split second, Christian had withdrawn himself.

"_In that case, I'll need some lube"._

I grinned at him, hitching myself up the bed, butterflies fluttering in my stomach. I watched as his fingers manoeuvred the lid open within a couple of seconds. Our fingers briefly met as I snatched the bottle from his hands. If anyone was touching Christian up, then it's was going to be me!

"_Let me have the honour"_

I squirted it out before allowing it to slither down his cock. Christian entangled his hands into my hair, as my hand started rubbing lubricant down him. Within moments, Christian was almost 90 degrees, sitting upright in my hand. Cheekily, I kissed the head of his cock before springing back onto the bed in position.

Christian grinned devilishly at me from the side of the bed. My heart pounded.

"_Ready"? _

I nodded quickly; my mouth was suddenly drying up. I opened my legs.

"_Permission to enter"?_

"_Permission granted_". My voice was higher than normal… it was a running joke between us to always say that…

I gazed at my lover as he meandered up the bed, leaving a trail of wet kisses up my inner thigh. His tongue travelled around my hole, occasionally flitting his tongue in. I shuddered at the contrast of the cold air he was blowing in followed by his warm tongue. It was almost too much to endure.

Grabbing me in his hand, Christian looked fixatedly into my eyes, his eyes scanning my face again. I convulsed from the pure intensity that was shooting through me. My heart slammed against my ribs, I scrutinized my lover physically devouring him as he took me into his mouth.

"_That feels amazing, Christian" _My voice was low as he sucked, licked and almost pierced me. I placed his face between hands, stroking him softly, completely in awe of him. I was rigid in his mouth. His aquamarine eyes shone brightly through his petite lashes. My eyes focused on his chiselled jaw and the structure of his face. His eyes met mine again as I felt myself ready to release. I closed my eyes again, gasping involuntarily as his tongue rippled over me.

"_Christian I'm gonna cum"_ I knew I sounded whiny but I couldn't help it. Just watching his head going up and down as he expertly sucked me, it just intensified the pleasure. He increased his speed and I leant back onto the bed for support. With a final sweep of his tongue, I squirted straight into his mouth, whispering his name. I was bewitched as he sucked every last trickle of me straight down his throat.

My heart rate elevated as he pushed his body onto mine, tracing my torso with his hands. I could only surrender myself up as his lips brushed against mine.

"_I think you're ready"_ He whispered into my ear, sexily.

Without removing his eyes from me, Christian sprung back onto his knees and positioned himself while maintaining a hold on my hips. He topped up the lube, and I knew that we ready for the experience that lay ahead of us. The somersaults in my stomach told me that I'd never forget it. Some people called it intuition but I called it, being finely tuned into the person you loved.

"_Remember, fast" _My heart hammered in anticipation…

The suction sound accompanied Christian as he entered me, hard. Pulling my hips towards his body, he began to thrust faster than before. I couldn't think straight, I was utterly absorbed in him.

"_Faster"?_

"_Yes"._

As Christian increased the tempo, I could feel the blood rushing around my body. My breath caught in my throat as I felt my orgasm begin to build. Slowly at first, but with every passing second it was growing rapidly.

"_Faster". _

I spoke this time, desperate for him. My hole was completely filled with him but it wasn't enough. I wanted him everywhere, in every sense of the word…

I bit my lip, unable to keep quiet, moans escaping with every breath. He held me tight as I squirmed, instead swiftly going faster. I shouted out loud, the friction between our bodies was causing untold pleasures and I wasn't even at the summit. My breathing was loud and all was all I could hear apart from our hips continually slapping against him.

"_Are you enjoying yourself? I know I am"? _I couldn't respond, my breathing deepening. He was smirking above me, but his breathing was shallow. The sensation was building in the pit of my stomach and my natural response was to cry out in pleasure.

Just when I didn't think it was humanly possible for Christian to go any deeper into me, he did. Without breaking his stride, he tilted himself upwards taking deeper strokes.

"_Shit, Christian!"_ My voice croaked around the room before bouncing back on me.

My eyes slammed shut as he grabbed my cock, rock hard in an instant, touching it, teasing me. I groaned again unable to direct my emotions in any one place. I could feel myself leaking. He squeezed my balls earnestly.

"_Oh God, that feels so good"!_ My voice was half strangled.

"_Play with yourself Sy"_ His voice was enough to turn me in, deep, low and husky.

"_You do it"._ I couldn't control the volume of my voice as my breathing became more laboured. Yet in the same moment, the sensation was threatening to overpower my body.

"_Faster, Christian! Please!_" I clenched my legs tightly around his waist.

"_Sy, I'm gonna come"_

"_Keep going. Please for me"._

"_What are you feeling, tell me" _

"_I'm feeling .. you. I want you so much, I can't control it. I want you to come inside me, its all I want" _

My ears pricked up as he moaned my name. It sounded so perfect coming from him. My breathing was deep and rugged. I screwed my face up, desperate to release the tension that was locked in every fibre of me, in my every muscle.

"_Nearly there!"_ I could just about hear him over my cries of pleasure.

With his final push, I physically felt him explode. As he cried out in delight, shouting my name, it was all the release I needed. Yelling his name, the intense frenzy finally disengaged with my body in the longest seconds of my life. It flooded my body, re awakening every part of me. I was drowning in him, I was actually drowning in Christian.

Panting harder than ever, he rolled off me,

"_God, that was the most mind-blowing thing I've ever experienced, Sy". _

I couldn't reply as the second orgasm took over and sizzled through my blood. I was twitching uncontrollably as I saw him contemplating me smiling. Realization dawned on his face and I felt his smile radiate and penetrate straight through to my soul. I was dimly aware of him propped up on his elbow, gazing at me. Seeing him over me, flushed, and satisfied was probably the reason why multiple waves of passion continued to possess my body, each one as exhilarating as the last one. The white stars faded way, leaving a relaxed sensation in my muscles. I couldn't believe it. Eventually I went limp. I continued to breathe fast and my mind was transfixed on what had just happened. I opened my mouth unable to speak, yet he understood, in the way only Christian understood. Leaning down and kissing my lips, he fell next to me, clutching me in his arms. I didn't know where I started and he finished but that was how I wanted to stay for eternity. Eventually, I fell into an exhausted slumber conscious of his every move and him cradling me, but more so of the fact that I was 100% completely totally, irrevocably and undeniably crazily in love with him.


	3. Chapter 3 Present and Future

**A/N: Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters. Simply writing out my own stories. **

**THIS FINAL CHAPTER IS DEDICATED TO PRICKLES!!!! On my last chapter, you wrote how you wanted another chapter so I made one JUST for you because I love you so much :p**

**Just want to say, I know I said the previous chapter was the last but I wanted this ending instead! :D (If its confusing, sorry… :o)**

**Please r&r because I appreciate them GREATLY and do read them all!**

**Love CC xx**

Two cool fingers gently rubbed each of my nipples between them.

They hardened as I felt them being stroked tenderly. The motion constantly switching, the feeling only intensifying.

A warm mouth dipped, sucking my left nipple.

Was I dreaming?

The lips moved, now tracing lingering kisses up the middle of my chest.

I think I am.

They reached my Adam's Apple. I could sense my breathing increasing as he nuzzled his nose against it.

Was I awake?

His index finger ran along my jaw line halting just below my ear. His luscious lips began sucking on my earlobe,

I involuntarily shivered conscious of the leaking sensation between my legs.

His breath washed against my ear as I heard his throaty chuckle.

""_Good, you're awake then beautiful"_

My eyes flew open, immediately searching out his piercing green eyes.

My body relaxed while my mind struggled to absorb how close he was to me. My breath caught in my throat as I scanned his face. His eyes were shining brightly, as they smiled at me.

"_What happened"?_

Christian was intoxicating my mind, body and soul. I couldn't think straight. He grinned at me, pulling back next to me. He turned to face me.

"_Let's just say you climaxed yourself into a slumber" _

I barely registered his words as he started flicking my nipple while his fingers almost burned through me.

"_I did what"?_

In the same instant, the memories of the previous hours hit me immediately.

"_You climaxed yourself into a slumber"_ he repeated.

"_I did, didn't I"?_ I stared at him smiling. Slowly, I placed my head back onto the pillow. I remembered the sensations that had just continually run through to the very core of my entire being. How all I could sense and feel was him. How I never wanted it to end. How I was utterly oblivious to anything that wasn't Christian. And my personal favourite was finally accepting that I was in love with him. A shiver of love coursed reverberated through my spine.

"_I've never felt anything like it before," _

"_Glad I was of use then"_

I laughed quietly, unable to tear my gaze away from him.

He leant forward, and kissed me gently on the lips, taking me by surprise. I responded eagerly, trying to coax his mouth open. He shook his head before pulling me into a tight hug.

"_I'm tired you know"._

I laughed. My hands instantly slipped around his waist.

"_How long was I out for"? _We closed the gap between our bodies.

"_About 40 minutes"_ He replied as we entwined our legs together.

"_Why didn't you sleep"? _I noticed that my body was a lot more sensitive than I originally had anticipated.

"_I slept for about 5 minutes but you kept me awake" _His voice had traces of humour in it, as if it was some kind of private joke.

"_How did I manage that"? _I kissed his chest, breathing his unique smell in.

"_You kept saying my name" _Christian pulled back trying to look at me but I buried my head deeper into his chest, hiding my blush. I was glad that was all that he had heard.

"_Oh sorry"_

He laughed quietly.

"_Its fine. I loved it" _

His voice was hiding something.

"_What else did I say?" _This time I pulled back but Christian held me tight in his grip.

"_Nothing"_ His voice was teasing.

"_Christian, tell me right now"._

"_Or what Sy"? _

"_Or I'll bite you"._

"_Ha! I dare you" _

I dipped under the covers and found his cock within half a second. Without thinking twice, I bit him… hard.

"_OW!" _

As I resurfaced out the duvet, head first, I laughed as he grabbed hold of me, ticking me. I tried to pull my body away, unable to stop laughing.

"_No, stop. Christian. Please! I'm ticklish. Sorry! I'm sorry!" _I pulled my legs up towards me but my lovers hands instantly knew my weak spots.

Christian was spluttering with laughter, his laughter lines clear. It took me a few moments to realise that he'd stopped and his mouth was crashing against mine. I looked up and found a pair of aquamarine eyes a couple of centimetres away from mine, hovering. The blood pounded through my veins as I had difficulty remembering how to breathe. His moist tongue wrapped itself around mine, tasting me. I reached up and pulled his body to mine, my skin already tingling from his feel, yet craving more. Our eyes never left each other until eventually he broke away first, breathing heavily. Our forehead's meeting me in the middle, as we breathed the other in.

"_I get to punish you" _Christian spoke first breaking the silence.

"_In your dreams Christian" _

"_More like in your dreams". _

His voice held double meaning causing me to blush again. I turned my face away from him, instead choosing to stare at the gleaming worktops in the kitchen.

"_What did I say?" _

"_I'm not telling you" _

"_Please" _

Changing tactics, I leant up and kissed him again. His hands instantly slackened and I took advantage of his moment of weakness. Exerting my strength, I pushed him arms away, rolled on top and held his arms besides him.

"_No fair Sy"_

"_Tell. Me." _

"_Ok fine"_

I waited impatiently.

"_But.." _

"_But what" _

"_I still get to punish you" _

"_Fine" _I noticed the exasperation in my voice.

"_You said that you were in love with me" _

His eyes never broke contact as he we watched each other, neither of us moving, both waiting to take our cue from the other person. My heart hammered against my chest. I couldn't believe that I'd said that aloud.

Eventually, Christian closed his eyes and rolled off me.

"_We don't talk anymore" _

"_Sorry"?_

"_You come. We shag. You leave"._

"_You know it'll only arouse suspicion if I get away for too long"._

"_Exactly. Like I said. You come. We shag. You leave. Speaking of which, shouldn't you be leaving"? _

"_Christian.."_ I was surprised to hear the tremor in my voice. His tone, it hurt me.

"_If you want me to go, then I'll leave". _

He didn't speak. I swung my legs around and sat up looking around for my clothes.

"_No. I'm sorry, please stay". _

I ignored him, and pulled my boxers on. I could hear him sitting up behind me.

"_Sy.." _

"_No, it's fine. I'll go. I know when I'm not wanted"_

"_You know I want you" ._

"_No, its like you said, I come, we shag, I leave. I mean the fact that I'm cheating on Amira doesn't matter. The fact that I'm getting married in a couple of weeks doesn't matter but you know excuse me for not being able to stay the night. ". _

I was facing him, anger was written all over my face. I could feel it. Christian was staring at me, hurt. Just like I was hurt.

"_I'm sorry. I just… I just cant bear the fact that these are our last moments together". _

Angry tears were now threatening to spill over.

"_I don't want to spend them arguing with you Sy. Just please, don't go, not yet". _

I watched his face, the anger instantly melting away when I connected with his emerald gems. It was always the same when our eyes met. It was like our souls were connecting, re igniting. I didn't want to have these days as our last memories either.

Walking around the room, I pulled Christian to his feet. His eyes told me that he was confused. Lacing our fingers together, I walked over to the sofa, allowed him to sit first before leaning against him. Neither of us pulled our hands apart, as we gently massaged our hands together.

"_I was 15 when I found out I was gay you know"? _

"_Really"?_

"_Yeah, I ended up kissing the school geek in the boys toilet"_

I squirmed as the laughter from Christian's laughter tickled my neck.

"_How glamorous"_

I rolled my eyes smiling slightly knowing that even though Christian couldn't see my smile, he could feel it. I paused, no longer wanting to discuss my past. Because eventually we'd come to Amira and I didn't want to go through all of that. My thoughts at night were enough, when I lay alone.

"_Christian"_ I whispered his name quietly, resting my head against his neck.

"_Yeah"? _

"_Can you see a future with me"? _

"_Sy.."_

"_Please, I want to know. Look just pretend that Amira doesn't exist, my family don't and no one does. Its just me and you… "_

"_I see us in a house somewhere". _My eyes gently closed as I allowed his words to wash over me.

"_I see us in a 3 bedroom house with an ensuite in every room". _

"_Because we'd fight over the bathroom"?_

"_Nope.. because you'd complain I was too messy"._ A small smile played on my lips.

"_You do have a tendency to be messy Christian"._

"_Do you want to hear this or not?"_ I instantly shut up and settled myself back into his arms comfortably.

"_I'd work in a pub, as the manager and you'd be working as a model". _I scoffed out loud.

"_You're joking"? _

"_No. You're beautiful Sy and plus this is my dream future so if I say you're a model, you're a model"_ I kissed his hand as by way of an apology.

"_I'd bring you breakfast in bed every morning. You'd complain to me about leaving my socks on the floor and I'd argue how much of a neat freak you are. We'd disagree about who forgot to buy some milk on the way home" _

I could feel Christian's arms tightening around me.

"_We'd travel the world together, Miami, Sydney, San Francisco, China… you name it and we'd go. We'd buy a puppy because I've always wanted one. We'd go out to the theatre together, go shopping, go to concerts, anywhere. Just as long as we're together. I'd never make you cry. I'd never leave your side Syed. I'd love you forever but I'd never stop falling deeper in love with you. The centre of my universe would revolve around our life together but you'd be the only planet that exists in my life. I'd give you everything I have, and I'd travel to the other side of the solar system if you asked, but all I'd want in return was your happiness"._

Our eyes met in the mirror opposite. It took many minutes before the image of Christian holding me, while I clutched at his arms to sink in. As his words sunk in, I closed my eyes. I could see it happening and I wanted it so much.

"_I want that so much. I want us to run on the beach together, hold hands, do everyday things. I want to kiss you in public and hold your hand. I want to go for long walks in the evening, catch a movie, stop over at a coffee shop. I want us to curl up watching TV together with mugs of hot chocolate. I want… I just want to grow old with you by my side. I don't want anything else". _

I closed my eyes against the tears that were spilling.

"_Don't cry Sy … please. I just said I wouldn't"._

I shook my head as he tried to turn me around.

"_I'm sorry". _

His hands caressed my face as he wiped the tears away. How could I explain to him that my tears were only because I alone had the power to make that happen and I wasn't. I rested my forehead against his, breathing his scent in.

"_Earlier today… I touched heaven with you Christian. What we did was beautiful. Every sense of mine was tuned into you. I've never felt anything like that before and don't think I ever will. You completely intoxicated me"_

"_Should I apologise?" _I could hear the traces of humour in his voice.

"_Don't. Because that's as close to heaven as I'll ever get" _

"_Ever get? You're still marrying Amira and then you and me… we'll be finished._

"_I'm sorry". _

"_Don't apologise Sy. You're doing what you think is right._

"_Why is it Christian, that I'd do anything for you but the one thing you want me to do the most?_

"_Because I might be your life Sy, but your religion …its you. Without it, you'll never exist as YOU. And I can never change that, I understand that now and I'm sorry for ever trying to change you and force you to make a decision. I shouldn't have done that" _

My throat thickened as I forced the lump back down. I opened my eyes and found Christian's gems hovering centimetres ahead of me.

"_This will have to be our last day Christian"._

He nodded.

"_I thought as much". _

"_I want us to end like this. Otherwise I know I'll never walk away from you"_

I saw Christian bite his lip, as if he was physically trying to stop his reply. I kissed his lips instead. The taste of love was unbelievably sweet.

"_I'll love you forever Christian. I mean it."_

"_I'll never stop loving you Sy. I promise you". _

I gently turned around again and allowed Christian to wrap me in his embrace. Our eyes never left each other in the mirror. Each of us trying to capture the moment forever in our memories, terrified that we had to go our separate ways but safe in the knowledge that what he have, it's real and we'll always be able to come back to this moment.


End file.
